Playground from Hell

I'm now convinced that playgrounds are designed by masocists who hate children. They give them fun and attractive colors so that kids anxiously flock to it, but little do the innocent children know that it's really a sick and twisted obstacle course built to mock their lack of coordination. It's sole purpose being to injure them, one kid at a time! It's the "patient but effective" method ...a bit like al-qaeda uses. Maybe they're behind it all!! :)
I took my kids to the local playground and before I could even sit down, William fell through a set of metal bars and busted open his little lip. I managed to stop the bleeding and gave him another chance to play. He climbed up some stairs and promptly fell out of a hole on the other side of a platform, hitting his back on the ground. He bravely picked himself up and mustered up the courage to keep going (what a trooper!). But he climbed up to the exact same platform that he just fell off of (ok, maybe he's a bit slow to catch on...give him a break!) and then he realized his mistake and said, "oh no, Mama, I need help down!" So I walked over to him and held out my arms and said, "ok, let's get you down now" and he decided to not just jump out, but up...right into a metal bar that was about 2 inches above his head. Brilliant design. Only one false move and you inflict instant brain damage on a two-year-old.
So I was done with this particular playground. We had only been there for 5 minutes, but I already needed to rush home to clean up blood and do a complete neurological exam on my 2 year old. Of course, my daughter had to throw a huge fit, in front of all the other mothers, in protest of our leaving. And all of the mothers stopped what they were doing, just to stare at me, to see how I was going to handle the situation. Thanks ladies for the support! But I handled it like a real pro. I picked her up, while she was kicking and screaming like a wild animal, put her in the van, and closed the door behind us. I said nothing, but gave her the evil stare. You know the one: The "how dare you embarass me like that...I'm going to eat you for lunch after we get home" stare. She refused to get into her car seat, so I pretended I didn't care...I'd drive off anyway. Lucky for me she didn't call my bluff (she usually would). She buckled up and told me I was the worst mommy in the world. Ahhhhhhh, another day in paradise! In three words or less, I hate playgrounds!!!