Havin' a Ball!

The kids were getting cabin fever and needed to release some energy. So I emptied off the 10x10 concrete slab we have in our backyard, hoping they could ride in tiny little circles, on their tricycles. This way I don't actually have to get off of my ass and chase them down the neighborhood streets, while they ride off into the sunset! So Abby hopped on her hog and gave it a whirl. "Does it work?" I asked. "Yup" she replied, to me. A few seconds later, after I had walked away, I heard her say to Ian, "Hey, let's pretend this is actually fun!" Sassy girl.

Happy Anniversary!

Every year, my hubby and I take an anniversary picture and put it in a special book. It's filled with some great memories. This year we went to the top of Enchanted Rock and took some fantastic pictures. Several days later, I was anxious to download them and print one out for our book. I hooked the camera up to the computer and realized that there were no images on it! My husband came home and I told him our pictures were gone. And then here's how our argument proceeded:
Jer: "What did you do?"
Me: "Nothing!"
Jer: "You had to do something with them...just step away from the computer because you and it don't get along well!" (which is actually true...I'm having a hell of a time just typing up this blog!)
Me: "Well maybe it's just a shitty computer." (effective insult because he built the computer)
Jer: "It's not the computer."
Me: "And the camera's software is ridiculous too!" "It sucks!"
Jer: "Face it, you lost the pictures...what did you do?"
Me: "Nothing!!" (total lie) "Maybe it'd be easier to get things done right if this study weren't a complete shithole!" (it really is a shithole)
Jer: "I'll try to find the pics, just go away." (notice I don't put exclamation points after his comments...he never raises his voice to me...it's so annoying!!)
Me: "I'm going to bed!!!!" (I was so tired at that point. It really is exhausting, trying to defend yourself when you're a total idiot!)

P.S. Yes, the pictures are forever gone. Oh well.

Crazy Mama

My eldest son has been "testing his limits" and pushing all of my buttons lately. So much so that he's got me questioning my own sanity! I'll have a particularly rough day and then end it by sitting on the floor of my closet, reading the Serafim pamphlet that my OB gave me, over and over again, trying to decide if the little pink pills will make me sane again, or if I'll just be an overly medicated mom with the same problems I had before. (Serafim, by the way, is a mild antidepressant, sometimes used for PMDD) And each time I read the pamphlet, I ask myself "why didn't I want to take these pills?" And then I get to the list of side effects. It's not the weightgain, the nausea, vomiting, irrritability, headaches, blurred vision, and potential for suicide that bother me. It's the "loss of sexual desire and/or function" that gets my goat. My libido is already at a pathetic level, but to suppress it even more would definitely be grounds for Jeremy's divorce! If I were the Department of Homeland Security, my libido would be on Code Red...high likelihood for disaster. So I'm hundled in the closet, thinking it over... Sanity or sex, sanity or sex, sanity or sex...hmmmm. Then I remember my wedding vows. Damn it! I think I remember the priest saying something about my hubby being "numero uno". (Although probably not in those exact words.) I draw the conclusion that I have to skip the pills in order to be the "sex-kitten" that God wants me to be, for my husband. Sanity will have to take a back seat, for now. So what will probably happen is I'll have great sex with my husband for the next few years, meanwhile screwing up my kids with my bizarre and insane behavior, thus saving my marriage. And then, just after my screwed-up kids finally leave the house for college, Jer will leave me for a younger woman. But at least that will open the door for me to FINALLY get to take my little pink pills! Viva Fluoxetine!

T.P. fiasco

My four-year-old daughter has a little problem with excessive use of toilet paper. We always know when she's been in the bathroom, taking a dump, because she leaves a clogged up toilet full of paper, and t.p. all over the floor and sink. It's a huge mess. But she does do a thorough job of cleaning her tush. Hey, she has her priorities! Anyway, the other day I went in and saw a miracle....I yelled "Abby, did you just go into the bathroom?" Since she was worried that she was in trouble, she replied "uh, no." I then said "It's ok baby, but can you come here, please?" She came into the bathroom and I pointed to the toilet paper roll and asked "Did you put that new roll of paper on the holder?" And she said (in her sassy little voice) "Well, I ran out of paper, so I put a new one on the holder...duh!" Good girl. Those have been my exact thoughts for quite some time : "Duh!!" Now why can't men figure that one out?!

My Little Ballerina

Sorry I haven't written in a really long time, but a trojan horse snuck up on my ass and my computer has been on the fritz ever since. And even though my hubby has three other computers, I still have to fight him for computer time! Anyway, I have so much to say!! Where do I start? I've been thinking it's time I include some of my sappy stories, so that those of you who are under the impression that I only complain about my kids will realize that I also love them very much. And I just so happen to have a good one to tell: This past week we were getting ready for my daughters first dance recital. Her rehearsal was on Thursday night. The flyer that had all of the info on it said "be there at 6:45 pm" and that's it. It said nothing about whether it was a dress rehearsal or not. I assumed that since the dancers are four years old, they'd schmootz up their costumes if they wore them the day before the recital and therefore it must NOT be a dress rehearsal. I was wrong. We got there and Abby saw everyone else in their costumes and she proceeded to cry. This, of course, broke my heart. It was the first (of what will probably be many to come) time when I embarrassed her. Damn. I apologized profusely and shoved her onto the stage. She was cool about it and did the dance without flinching. Very smooth little girl. That night, when I was tucking her in, she reminded me that I screwed up. "You forgot my costume, Mommy!" And I said, "I'm sooooo sorry, baby." "Maybe this is the best time to teach you a very important lesson...Mommy is not perfect either and I'm going to make lots of mistakes. But I'm very sorry about it." And then my daughter took my face in her hands and said "oh, but Mommy, you are perfect!" Needless to say, I balled my eyes out. It brings tears to my eyes even now. She's such a wonderful little girl and I'm so lucky to have her!