You Liars!

I just watched a commercial where a woman is bargaining with her friend, to share the phone number of her babysitter. She offers her a trip to Cancun, or something like that. Anyway, the offer is impressively high. That's when it occurred to me that I'm surrounded by lying bitches! Oh my god, you guys have been holding back on me and I didn't even realize it. When I've been sitting around complaining about not having a babysitter, I've aways wondered why you all stare at me like a deer in headlights and offer up NO advice. I just thought you were in the same boat and were stumped for good ideas. How naive of me! But it suddenly hit me like a stinking sack of shit...you all have a sitter and you're not giving up her number unless I kill you first! I didn't know that Motherhood was such a dog-eat-dog world. I haven't been playing the game, but now that I know that it actually IS a game...it's ON! Look out ladies, cause I'm after your babysitter and I'm gonna steal her away from you. I'm gonna let her watch my kids while talking long distance on my phone, eating my food, inviting over her boyfriend, and getting drunk off of my booze. She'll never sit for you again. So there! Muwaaaaahahahaha!! Who's the winner now, bitches?!! Wait....what?!!