Ianese

As many of you know, I have one particularly precocious son. The things he says frequently blow my mind! I've recently deemed it "Ian-speak" or "Ianese". So I'd like to compare the way a normal five year old would say something vs. the way Ian says it...

Normal kid: Mama, can I play outside?

Ian: Mama, I'm gonna play outside before it rains because I think I see some cumulonimbus clouds.

Normal kid: Ahhhhhh, a bug!

Ian: Look at that interesting insect. I think it's a horned beetle.

Normal kid: Can I have a Milky Way candy bar?

Ian: Mama, how can we see the Milky Way when we're IN the Milky Way?

Normal kid: I like dogs.

Ian: Mama, did you know that Orion had a dog named Serius? He's a constellation too.

Normal kid: I wanna be a fireman when I grow up.

Ian: I don't want to be a scientist, I am a scientist!

Normal kid: ouch, that pinecone just hit me on the head!

Ian: That pinecone fell from the tree because of gravity.

Normal kid: Lightning is scary.

Ian: Lightning is electricity in the clouds. Purple lightning is the hottest lightning. If you see lightning, don't go under a tree or you'll die.

Normal kid: Good dinner, Mom.

Ian: That dinner was scrumptious! (seriously, he says this!)

Normal kid: I don't wanna go to bed yet!

Ian: What on earth are you thinking, woman? It's still light outside!

Normal kid: Mama, tell me a bedtime story.

Ian: Mama, let's talk about the brain and how it works.

Good lord, I have to stop myself, but I could go on and on. That kid cracks me up. He's such a freak!! I love him to death. And if you think this was simply for humor, you're wrong. He's totally said these things to me! My little nerd. :)