Cracking One Off

So, I cut the cheese today. (Yes, I mean I farted. I just didn't want to say it that way.) When I'm alone with the kids I usually forget to silence myself because I figure they were once in there with all of my business, so why should I censor myself now. Right? (A dangerous practice, by the way. You start to forget when you're in public or at home. I DON'T recommend it.) Anyway, I let one rip, out loud, and the baby came up behind me and tapped on my butt and said, "uh,oh, Mama go doo-doo!" And I started to laugh but then I immediately began to question it myself! Afterall, I have had three babies. My internal workings are just not the same anymore. Give me a break! I ran to the bathroom, just to see if he knew something that I didn't know. I was relieved to find that my pants were clean. I did not "shart". Phew! Being very grateful that I haven't turned that corner yet, I said a prayer. "Thank you God for my bowel and bladder control. I know that just as I say these mocking words, you will curse me with something else repulsive. But for now, I am truly grateful." Amen!