Mission: Disney

Imagine 2000 miles, 10 days, and 7 kids. OK, it just wouldn't do our trip justice if I also didn't mention the extra 5 pounds that I packed on too. Sounds like a recipe for a disaster, eh? Well, it wasn't too bad. We took a family trip to Disney World, and at the risk of sounding cliche, it was magical! Other than the fact that we cheaped out and opted to drive, our trip was probably like most other peoples experience at Disney. Here's a quick summary:
1)Drive, drive, drive
2)get mauled by a deadly swarm of mosquitos, while peeing on the side of the road - WHAT?! You know you've peed on the side of the road before - stop judging me!
3)Mickey, Mickey, Mickey
4)drop, splash, scream, laugh
5)blow a wad at gift shop
6)eat $10 burgers and $5 cokes
7)get stampeded by a herd of wild Brazilians and made into a huge tourist sandwich; and I must also mention that as a result, my sister and I start to get a little "scrappy" with the crowd.
*note: we are very sweet and kind girls until you F with our children and then we turn into raving bitches...it wasn't pretty. We're both a bit ashamed of our behavior.
8) parade, fireworks, more Mickey
9) son pukes repeatedly (man, what a waste of a perfectly good $10 burger!)
10)Get offered a reefer from the hot German waitress...wait, what? Oh. My sister says she was just offering me a refill on my drink. Damn. That was the best part of the trip. Oh well.
11) more $10 burgers and $5 cokes
12) bank calls to ask if we're making all of these purchases or if we've been robbed. Oy.
13) son pukes some more (it just wouldn't be a proper family trip if one kid didn't get violently ill, right?)
13) more rides, more Mickey, more puking
14) pack up and drive home, on what seems like the longest drive in history, with a carload of Disney crap!!
I think it's important to mention, by the way, that I have the grumpiest family on the face of this earth. In all of our photos I look like Jesus Christ himself came out of the clouds, with my huge cheesy-ass grin. But my husband and sons all looked like death was awaiting them. If Mickey Mouse can't make them smile, then I do believe they are screwed. Poor guys. I think that's why my husband married me, in all truth. I can make him smile. Since he's completely incapable of doing so himself, he needs me around for that. I guess it's like the old saying, "there can only be one peacock in the family", but in this case, only one overly-happy nutcase. Well, I'm glad I get to hold that title. But in all seriousness, we all had a really fantastic time on our family trip to Disney. We made memories that I'll cherish forever. Viva Disney!