The Light at the End of the Tunnel...

I've come to discover that sometimes telling the truth on this blog scares the hell out of people. But I created this blog to have a place to vent. Which sometimes mean telling the truth, even when it's harsh. So I get to my point...as you can probably tell lately, I've been really stressed out. There is a loooooong list of "why"'s but I think the real cause has more to do with my hormones. When those are out of control, then everything else in my life seems so "horrible" and unbearable. After many long conversations with my husband, we have come up with a couple of solutions that have me very excited. #1: I have an appointment with my OB/GYN to discuss proper medication to get my hormones under control. (I had previously rejected the idea of taking medication, but it seems to be my only choice, if I want to be truly happy.) and #2: we are going to move to Houston ASAP. Hooray!! It's a terrible time to sell a house and look for a job, but we're going to take our time doing so and pray that we make good decisions. But the fact is that I really need the help of my loved ones and cannot expect to get it until I move back home. I'm nervous about it, but look forward to it. It could take a while though, so don't get too anxious!
Anyway, the lesson I have learned (over a really dreadfully long time) is this: TALK TO SOMEONE about your problems and don't settle for mediocrity. There is help out there. It just may take a long time to get it worked out, so be patient with yourself.
I'm not totally in the clear yet, so I'll need some prayers. But I'm hopeful that I'll be feeling better soon. And thanks to my friends and family who always stick by my side!!!

Oy vey...

I had a good weekend, but it came REALLY close to turning into a disaster. I was walking a very fine line. I may have even crossed it, but unfortunately, I don't remember! Yes, I got drunk. I don't usually drink much. Stop laughing, I serious. Once a month, maybe. Usually less than that. But anyway, I went to a birthday party on Saturday afternoon. As soon as I arrived, I was offered a mixed drink. I knew it would be a bad idea because it was too early in the game. I'd be passed out by dinner time. So I politely refused. Then the lady said that she would make a "really weak drink". I caved in. It really did taste weak, so I didn't worry about it. One hour later I was passed out in the bedroom. I didn't know what hit me! I pulled myself off of the bed a couple of hours later and went outside to join the others. I was sluggish and tired, but wanted to wake myself up for the rest of the party. So I decided to take a flyin leap onto the slip-and- slide, (after being coaxed by others, of course). It started a trend and soon the rest of the party was slippin and slidin. It was a blast and the rest of the evening went well. But when it was finally time to go to bed for the night, I began to realize that there were gaps in my memory of the night. I think I had MANY conversations that I barely remember. I know I had a discussion with a friend about whether he should marry or not. Wow, I hope I did that one well! And I know I had the obligatory conversation with my brother-in-law, in which I told him how much I love him and my sister-in-law. (It wouldn't be a typical drunken episode without that, right? "I love you, man!") But other than those two conversations, I'm lost. I haven't had lapses in my memory since college. I feel like a complete loser! Granted, I really did try to play it safe and not drink a stiff drink. I tried to be good! But I think that chick slipped a ruffie in my drink or something. She is officially going on my "evil people" list (along with Oprah Winfrey and the girl who stole my boyfriend in high school). I'm 34 years old, with a husband and children, and I was slip-and-sliding and jumping in the kids' moonwalk! Ugh. Although, I probably would have done those things sober too. The point is that everyone else probably thinks I behaved that way because I was shnockered. If only my friend Traci were there, she could have defended my honor by letting everyone know this was normal for me, NOT necessarily alcohol-induced! Well, it worked out in the long run because the other adults followed my lead and we all had a great time playing in the water. Gee, what will I do next year, for an encore? I'd hate to disappoint everyone...

MY View

Oh my lord, I've been trying to find ways to relax and it's impossible! I try to hold off on some of the housecleaning, but it becomes a total hell hole after 30 minutes! I can't live that way. I try "fixing myself up" but then a kid or two will spill a drink on me or wipe syrup on my clean clothes and this stresses me out even more than I would be if I didn't clean myself up to begin with! Today I tried watching a little t.v., other than Dora or Backyardigans. This bombed completely!! My blood pressure rose immediately. I started watching The View and became outraged because they have employed 3 liberals who always gang up on the one conservative. And they all have these smug looks on their faces because they all seem convinced that just because it's 3:1 they have suceeded in making her look like an idiot. Well they're wrong about that. I especially love the confidence that the new idiot (Sherri Shepherd) has, just because she's being backed up by two comedians. She must think we forgot that she once believed the earth might be flat! Good lord.
I'm neither a conservative nor a liberal but the situation on this show annoys the hell out of me!! I'm so tired of Hollywood ramming their liberal views down our throats, every chance they can get. Why the hell would I care what they think?! They live in "LaLa land". They can't possibly know what the average American needs or wants. So when I turn on the television, to relax, I'm hoping that I can either hear unbiased information or at least a balance between the views. Good luck with that, right?
Then I decided to try watching an old Oprah episode that I recorded. I'm getting tired of her crap too. First of all, when Oprah says, "read this or read that or bark like a damn dog", every woman in America does it. Why do women relate to her? She's never been married, has no children, and is severely wealthy? Yup, sounds like she and I have so much in common. And secondly, I am seriously getting tired of her obvious bias toward anything and everything black. [ And no, I'm not prejudiced, I consider myself the exact opposite! I have a very open-minded view of people and the world...It just bothers me when other people can't get over color! Including Oprah Winfrey.] Anyway, the episode I turned on was about a young boy who was killed with a baseball bat, by a young black kid. And who was Oprah sypathizing with? The black kid because she thought he didn't deserve an 8 year sentence for MURDER! I'm not watching Oprah anymore either. She does that crap all the time. It's sickening.
I eventually settled on I Love Lucy...the show about a 1950's housewife who does all of the cooking and cleaning. It was the least offensive!!
P.S. I know, I know...I've been quite a grouchy bitch on my blog lately. Just cut me a little slack. I have issues right now, ok? :)

Ugh!

OK, so here comes the "bitching and moaning" part of my blog... My stress level, since moving away from Chicago, has skyrocketed! (Ironic, isn't it? People usually have the opposite effect when living in a big city like Chicago...not me!) I'm so tightly wound lately, I feel like three-mile island. I'm quite sure I'm gonna blow at any minute! It's been progressively building up over the course of four years. If it weren't for my gals at my monthly Bunco, I would have exploded a long time ago. (Thanks ladies!!) Part of the problem is that I don't have access to the outlets that I expected to have when we moved back. (our expectations were way off course!) And now, all that I can thing about is how much I currently need my friend Traci's companionship because she has a fantastic attitude about dealing with life's little problems. I need a dose of my mom's unconditional love. And I need my sister and brother-in-law to blend me up some margaritas and relax with me. But unfortunately they're all 200 miles away. (Not their fauklt...all mine) I've been on an island for the last 4 years. I may as well be back in Chicago, where my husband and I were happiest! Yes, I can always drive to see my friends and family, but it's also stressful because the kids really misbehave when they aren't sleeping and playing in their own rooms for days at a time. And I do have the luxury of being able to call my friends and family, but I could do that in Chicago, right?! In addition, my husband has always been my very best friend and is always there to help me, but he has to work a lot here in San Antonio. He worked much less in Chicago. But here, he's either gone 12 hours a day or working in his study with the door closed. It's hard on both of us. I'm like a single parent who gets a paycheck, despite being a stay-at-home mom. It's weird.
Don't get me wrong, I do love the Hill Country. I do love my neighbors and friends here. I do love my kids school and doctors, and church. I do love the state of Texas. I absolutely LOVE the fact that I can easily go visit my friends and family in Houston. I just think that my husband and I were more at peace when we were 1000 miles away. I think I'm going to have a heart attack, in my sleep, if my stress level goes up any further! I think I'm having palpatations right now! KABOOM!!

Not so Peep-ish

You're not ever getting into my house if:

1. You refuse to drink tap water.
2. Kool-aid is not good enough for your kids. Hey, a little red dye #40 hasn't killed me yet!
3. You're butt is significantly smaller than mine (side note: unless this means it's as flat as a pancake, in which case, you're in, baby!!)
4. You look perfect from head to toe: house, kids, and all, but you won't admit that your marriage is shit. (Do you want TRUE friends or not, lady? I'm here for ya'.)
5. You don't consider Kraft cheese slices to actually be cheese. (In our house we call it "plastic-wrapped gold"!) Love it!
6. You pay someone else to do your housecleaning, laundry, taxes, lawn, and raise your kids...in this case, I'm sorry, you may be a lovely person, but we probably don't have a damn thing in common...unless you're paying for the maragaritas! :) [ok, I need to revise this a bit...it's ok if you pay someone to do your taxes...if you're utitlizing my sisters services!] :)
7. You don't believe in the 3-second rule...come on, it's not that bad!!
8. Noisy kids bother you. I know, I know...the noise bothers me too, but we're just going to have to put up with it. Besides, overly obedient kids are weird!!
9. You believe I need to be "saved" just because I'm Catholic. I'm treading in deep water here, but I have had to ditch many a friend because they felt that I was "going to hell" unless they immediately intervened. Okie dokie.
10. And finally, you're not going to be a friend of mine if you can't handle a bad word here or there. I've tried to control myself, and it's just impossible. I'm sorry. It's who I am. If you can't handle it, then go *$#* your @$#&*& and %^$#&! :0